KontrolFreek Blog

Hey there,

I’m FPS Freek Bombshell. I heard you like crazy accuracy and precision when you play Black Ops 2. That’s cool. I like those things too.

You know, Valentine’s Day is in a couple of weeks. Do you maybe want to play some Halo 4 or some other first-person shooters together? I’ve always wanted someone like you to share my life of gaming excellence with. I know we’d have a good time together. I’ll pick you up in my car. It’s a Lamborghini.

Can you picture it? You and me—your thumb on my grip-enhancing nubbed surface playing together as a pair of blood-hungry commandos? I want to make you a better player. I was designed for improving your K/D ratio. I know what you want. I was built to satisfy.

So, what do you say? Is it a yes?

I know what you’re thinking... I’m being pretty forward. It’s only because I am extremely limited and once I’m gone you probably won’t have the chance to see me again. I just want to make sure I’m always attached to your sticks.

Oh, I should tell you—my Lambo is actually in the shop right now so I’ll need you to pick me up instead. I hope that doesn’t change anything. I’m looking forward to meeting you in person! I’m available now!

Love,

Bombshell

XOXOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Creators of the popular Halo-themed parody, Red vs. Blue, have just released episode 2 of A Simple Walk Into Mordor. The four part series follows Lord of the Rings super fans, Kerry and Chris as they attempt a 6 day, 120+ mile trek across New Zealand from the filming locations of The Shire to Mount Doom just to prove that one can simply walk into Mordor.

Obviously this is a fantastic idea…

Here is the first episode:

 

You can see episode 2 plus episodes 3 and 4 once released right here.

Last week we asked FreekNation to cause a “Little Havoc” at Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 midnight launches worldwide to demonstrate their love for KontrolFreek. The grand prize winner would receive an iPad Mini; two runners up, $50 Amazon gift cards. The challenge was set!

We left it up to you as to how you would demonstrate said love and you didn’t disappoint! With creativity and ingenuity, three winners separated themselves from the group.

Here are the winners and what they did to complete the mission:

Runners up

Our third place winner, @AdamNBeaTodd interviewed some non-campers and let them get some hands-on time with “da Freeks.” He doesn’t really work for us—but maybe he should?

Second place goes to @Gafiltha for getting rowdy in line and passing out tasty Doritos tortilla chips as a way to buy fans. His success was marginal, but we still loved the idea.
 

Grand prize

Our grand prize winner of the iPad Mini is @MrSlimKognito! His “next-gen” set up was a sight to behold at his launch event. Complete with a Microsoft Type-C (for cardboard :P) controller and equipped with FPS Freeks, this thing is one impressive piece of crap. Double thanks to his girlfriend for all the help!
 

To see the full photo gallery click here.

Congrats to the winners on a successful mission and thanks to everyone who participated!

5. Nintendo Jacket – Nothing says I’m an old, balding creepazoid like this Nintendo jacket featuring the iconic original NES controller. Couple this beauty with a good pair of black sweatpants and you’ll be calling the police to arrest the ladies off of you.

4. Retro Gaming Ties – These ties feature classic scenes from gaming’s golden era. From Tetris and Pong to Space Invaders and Asteroids—each one seems to be frowning in on itself a bit with shame. Seriously, even the aging folks who developed these classic games think these ties are nerdy.

3. Piranha Plant Underwear – These stylish, black underoos are perfect for those who are geeky to the absolute core. The famous Piranha Plant from the Super Mario Bros. series makes quite the statement when worn under some skinny jeans and complemented with some Chuck Taylors. It’s too bad no one except your dude friends and your mom will ever get to see them.

2. Contra Sweater – This Contra turtleneck sweater is just begging to be part of a dysfunctional family’s Christmas card. Featuring the ambiguously gay duo of Bill and Lance, this winter weather masterpiece says “hey, it’s cool; I actually prefer being a virgin.”

1. Super Mario Bros. Sweater Vest – Speaking of virgins, this little fella sets ‘em up and knocks ‘em down when he wears this hand-knit masterpiece from the 8-bit era. If I ever see this guy out in public I’m killing him myself.

I remember being a kid on Christmas. It was badass. Waking up, running to the tree, unwrapping “filler” gifts like socks and clothes, just hoping that the video game or console I really wanted was under there somewhere. It usually was; and I’d then spend the rest of the day playing it with my little brother, friends and other prepubescent family members that were over for Christmas dinner. It was the best day ever, renewed annually.

Now things are different. Christmas sucks. What used to be a happy and carefree day has turned into a series of annoying obligations that gets between me and my video games—renewed annually. Between hopping from place to place, celebrating Christmas like a desperate nomad, and not receiving any video games as presents from my “loved ones”, the magic has pretty much expired. I know some of you guys with wives or kids know what I’m talking about. But, what can you do?

Well, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do… I’m going to take Christmas back! I just need to figure out a brilliant plan for next year and then execute. Maybe I’ll purposely get excommunicated from the Catholic Church, or become Jewish but celebrate Christmas in secret away from my family. I don’t know yet—but something needs to be done before I go on a rampage and stab my entire family with sharpened candy canes.

Merry Christmas.