A couple of weeks before the release of Gears of War 3, Gears of War: The Board Game will hit store shelves. You see, it's a board game with all of the excitement of Gears of War the video game—except it's probably not even close to as exciting. Sadly, I still totally want it. Fantasy Flight Games makes a pretty good case with this trailer and, honestly, the little figurines would make a great addition to my ongoing army vs. Indians vs. firemen vs. cowboys war I have going on in my sandbox.

I got dibs on Cole Train!

According to Amazon.com, Gears of War: The Board Game releases on August 31^st for about $80.

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, a video is worth about a million more. If you were lucky enough to be in Los Angeles for E3, you may have caught a peek of the awesomeness that is “Horde 2.0.” If you weren’t at the show, it’s likely that you’ve at least read all about it, seen a bootleg video or possibly kidnapped Clifford Bleszinski yourself and made him play for you while you brushed his hair.

Now Epic Games has finally released an official “tutorial” video that lets you see officially that the Horde mode you know and love has been upgraded and is officially more awesome than ever… officially. Narrated by the tough and sexy Anya Stroud, this tutorial lets you see for yourself some of the evolved features like Fortifications, boss creatures and the new money feature. Check it out!

If you happened to be awake in the wee-hours of last night/this morning, you may have caught Microsoft’s pre-planned announcement that coincided with Cliff Bleszinski’s big appearance on Jimmy Fallon confirming Gears of War 3.  Apparently, nobody told the folks who add Xbox Live’s content that Cliff’s appearance on “Late Night” had been postponed until next Monday because of a scheduling conflict with Justin Bieber.

The Xbox Live Dashboard’s Spotlight channel read, “Gears of War 3 Announced – The epic story concludes April 2011.”  Clicking the link resulted in nothing and has since been removed, but nevertheless, we all know the truth. Gears 3 will release next April.

Look for the final boss to be a large, bloodthirsty locust with the detached head of Justin Bieber whose weak spot will most likely be his vocal chords that need to be severed with your chainsaw.

No, not really.

But some mysterious project will be announced by Epic Games' poster boy Cliff Bleszinski next week.  Rumor has it that CliffyB is set to appear on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to "tease" at something next Thursday night.  What could it be?  Yeah, it’s almost certainly going to be Gears of War 3.  And I'm not really sure why Epic is being so tight-lipped about the whole thing, either—it's not like everybody didn't already know that there was going to be sequel after the anti-climactic ending to Gears 2.

Whatever the announcement, don't expect too much to be revealed.  I'm sure Epic and Microsoft are waiting for E3 to really announce the game properly.  I can already hear Epic's new, and improved Mantra, "bigger-er, better-er and more badder-ass-er" spewing from CliffyB’s chipmunk-like mouth in June.  No disrespect, Cliff.

Anyway, look for Gears of War 3 on store shelves sometime in fall 2011.

Gaming news out of Japan is often a bit strange.  The latest has showed up in a trailer seen sometime this morning at Xbox Japan’s Capcom event…

Apparently, Gears of War heroes Dominic Santiago and Marcus Fenix will be featured in Capcom’s upcoming Lost Planet 2.  Rumor has it that Lost Planet 2 designer Jun Takeuchi has much love for Epic’s GOW and has collaborated with the American developer to feature the two chainsaw-happy characters in his new game.  The big fellas will most likely be available as exclusive characters for the Xbox 360 version of the game and will probably be available via download only.

I used to be good at Halo.  So when ODST came out I decided to plug in the Halo 3 Multiplayer disk and relive some of my former glory.  Sure, I figured that I’d be bit rusty from not playing for a while, but I never thought that I would still be getting straight-pwned after multiple hours.  Ouch!  This concerned me.  So after a lot of frustration—and maybe even a few tears—I decided to get to the root of the problem.

My first thought was the obvious: I suck.  Then, right before hanging myself, I decided that I wasn’t really as bad as my stats were demonstrating.  I mean, I’m not god’s gift to gaming or anything, but I do have nearly a 2.0 kill/death ratio in Modern Warfare.  My conclusion: everyone must be cheating (well, maybe not everyone--but you can see what I'm getting at).  I have certainly fallen victim to cheaters in the past but it was usually something relatively obvious.  When you are constantly getting shot from outside the map in Call Of Duty, Ghost Recon, Halo, Gears of War, and every other popular game in the history of multiplayer gaming, you know when the C is O (“cheat is on…” stay with me).  But this was different; I was being outgunned—by the same guns that I was using!  I decided that I was being beaten by hardware mods (rapid fire controllers, specifically).  Had this exception to the rule become an epidemic?

Now, I’m all about obtaining advantages (that’s why I use FPSFreeks, after all) but when does this lust for the upper-hand become cheating?   Where do you stand on the issue?  Where do you draw the line in your quest for that tangible edge?

Epic Games

• Collect multiplayer experience by playing Horde mode. Players currently gain experience at this rate:
  • 50 points per completed Casual wave
  • 75 points per completed Normal wave
  • 100 points per completed Hardcore wave
  • 125 points per completed Insane wave
• Ability to restart Public Horde from the current failed wave, instead of having to start over from wave 1
• Allows the host to boot players from a Public Horde
• Adds a message at the end of the match to explain to players that they should wait before quitting, so they avoid penalties for quitting early
• Adds support for the new campaign chapter, "Road to Ruin"
• Adds 13 new achievements worth 325 points. All of the new achievements require the Dark Corners Map Pack, a set of seven new maps and a deleted campaign chapter to be released July 28. The 13 new achievements are:
  • "My Way or the Highway" (25 points): Without being detected, complete the "Road to Ruin" deleted scene after choosing the stealth option.
  • "Highway to Hell" (25 points): Complete the "Road to Ruin" deleted scene after choosing the guns-blazing option.
  • "Two for the Road" (25 points): Complete the "Road to Ruin" deleted scene in co-op as either Marcus or Dom.
  • "Be Careful What You Wish For" (10 points): Reach level 5 in multiplayer and complete waves 1 through 10 on the War Machine map in Horde (any difficulty).
  • "Ride It All Night Long" (10 points): Reach level 10 in multiplayer and complete waves 1 through 10 on the Highway map in Horde (any difficulty).
  • "No, But His Face Rings a Bell" (15 points): Reach level 15 in multiplayer and complete waves 1 through 20 on the Sanctuary map in Horde (any difficulty).
  • "Lost in Transition" (20 points): Reach level 20 in multiplayer and complete waves 1 through 20 on the Way Station map in Horde (any difficulty).
  • "Like Father, Like Gun" (30 points): Reach level 30 in multiplayer and complete waves 1 through 30 on the Allfathers Garden map in Horde (any difficulty).
  • "Am I Only Dreaming?" (40 points): Reach level 40 in multiplayer and complete waves 1 through 40 on the Memorial map in Horde (any difficulty).
  • "Blood on the Sand" (50 points): Reach level 50 in multiplayer and complete waves 1 through 50 on the Nowhere map in Horde (any difficulty).
  • "Afraid of the Dark" (20 points): Play a multiplayer match on each of the seven Dark Corners Map Pack maps (any mode).
  • "Did Not Go Gentle" (30 points): Win a multiplayer match on each of the seven Dark Corners Map Pack maps (any mode)
  • "Is it Hot or Is That Just You?" (25 points): Kill 25 Bloodmounts with a Scorcher Flamethrower while playing Horde on a Dark Corners Map Pack map (any difficulty).